March 24th, 2006

Larry eyelashes

(no subject)

For the first time in my life, I have a job I really, really love, and I don't dread going to work in the morning. I still don't like getting up in the morning, mind, but it's not going to work that is the problem, rather lack of good sleep. It's such a wonderful feeling, like an enormous cloud lifted off of me that I never even really noticed was there until it's gone.

The job is going super well. I seem to have a knack for this benchbook writing stuff. My co-worker, the only other person working on benchbooks, I mean, other than the boss, tells me that I am super fast at this, faster than she is and she's been here four years. I've been here six weeks. And my boss tells me he's really very happy with my work, the drafts of chapters I've turned in so far. So YAY! I've finally found my niche.

On a reflective note, I realized the other day that this is the first time in my life that I am purely and simply enjoying the present, not looking to the future when I'll have a better job/one I like, or when I'll have the degree I'm holding off on getting because I don't have the money, or when I'll have a house of my own, or when I'll be married and have children, etc. I'm finally at that place I worked all my life to reach. What a good feeling. I know I'm very lucky, and that a lot of people never reach that place. And we certainly don't have the money I would like to have, so I can do all the things I want to do -- go on lots of educational tours and travel travel travel and take Devon fun places and send Devon to a good school/college, etc. But overall, I've no basis at all for complaining. I've a wonderful husband and happy marriage, a gorgeous baby boy, a house all my own, a job I love, the best set of friends a person could ever ask for, a family that I (mostly) adore. So, so lucky.

Mark has stopped entirely talking about the Master's Degree now, so I'm hopeful that he's decided it's a no-go, at least at this stage. I'd love to take college courses in things I've never had the opportunity to study, particularly women's studies, European history, and art history, and I fully intend to do so, but NOT NOW. Hopefully I've gotten that message through to him. I want him to study and be happy, but we can't just ignore finances to do it. I have to say, however, that I think what has changed is mind is not the financial situation or my discussions with him, but the fact that the program isn't as "perfect" for him as he had originally thought it was. Whatever works, I guess.

Guess I'd better get some work done now. Happy Friday! *hugs flist*