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06 January 2006 @ 08:18 am
Not much news to share. Really just posting to say:

Stevie. I miss you like crazy. I know we don't have terribly much in common anymore. Our fandoms have diverged vastly. But you are still my bestest friend ever, and I think about you all the time. I love you, honey. Don't worry -- everything will work out for you and D. and BV2. Let me know when you find out whether it is Emily or Corey, and I'll send you baby clothes I've got saved for you.

Megs. Hang in there. I love you to bits. Don't know what I'd do without your cheerful self. Feel free to call me anytime to chat, or for a telephone hug.

Melissa. I'm SOOOO glad I'm finally getting a chance to rp more with you and to know you. I never see you online on AIM to chat, but I'd love to get to know you better.

Amy. Our babies need to get together. And I definitely need to get to know you better. Are you ever on AIM?

Jem, Dawn, and Donna. Thanks for giving me a lovely diversion and three great new friends.

Ana. I definitely need to get to know you better, too. IM me sometime, yeah?

Occ. I've gradually been getting to know you better, through your lj posts and through our replies back and forth. But I'd love to actually talk with you sometime. Are you ever on AIM?

I'm sure I've left someone important off. But these were the thoughts rattling 'round in my brain.

Oh, Ally! It's been a real delight getting to know you this year. You are one of the nicest people I've ever met, and I'm so happy that you were able to live your U2 dream this year.

Anyway, off to work on my whistleblowers case. Exciting stuff. Have a good day, all!
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Queensryche in head (hubby's favorite band)
Megs: B City of Blinding Lightsthemegs on January 6th, 2006 04:01 pm (UTC)
*cling* Thank you. I keep forgetting that, before a few months ago, you weren't one of my best friends.

He called his doctor, and he's going to double his Zoloft for now, and he gave him Klonopin for when he gets really upset. He's at work now and he says he's a little better. He's better when he's away from me, because when he's with me he feels guilty for being depressed and he cries and clings and begs forgiveness, which breaks my heart. It's like I don't want him to be grateful for me. I want him to take it for granted that I'll be there because I hate to see him feel guilty for needing me.
nosferatuvoice: Bono Larry Minenosferatuvoice on January 6th, 2006 04:22 pm (UTC)
*clings back* I know. I keep forgetting too. Feels like we should have been friends for years. Love you!

I'm so glad. And don't feel bad about his guilt around you. That is a symptom of his depression. You become incredibly insecure, and then you find yourself apologizing to everybody for everything and feeling guilty for "bugging" them or being a drain on them, etc. He does take it for granted that you're there for him, I'm sure. But right now he's so insecure because of the depression that he feel like he has to apologize. I don't think I've explained it very well, but I clearly recognize it as part of his depression. I've been through it and done the same -- apologizing for being such a downer to Mark again and again and again, when all he wanted was for me to be happy, and he'd have been there for me regardless of my mood. So don't feel too bad about that. Just reassure him that his feeling like he needs to beg forgiveness is part of the depression. The fact that he's crying when he's with you indicates his trust for you.
Megsthemegs on January 6th, 2006 04:24 pm (UTC)
Love you.

That makes sense. Thank you. I just wish I knew how to comfort him. Being nice to him makes him cry harder, but I understand that. Poor thing. He just needs to hang on for a little while until his job feels routine and he can be confident again.
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 6th, 2006 04:37 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately, there probably is little or nothing you can do to comfort him, because you are not the source of his insecurity and have no impact on that source. All you can do is be there for him and reassure him that it will get better, that you have confidence in him, and that it is alright to be feeling the way he is.