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03 January 2006 @ 09:19 am
 
Okay. I so need hugs right now. My twin sis just told me that her husband told her last night that he's leaving her. After 19 years of marriage and two kids. Now, he's not been right to her for a long time, but still. OUCH. I'm not sure I have the strength right now to give her the support she needs. But I'm gonna try. Still, hugs would be appreciated.
 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
 
Megsthemegs on January 3rd, 2006 02:29 pm (UTC)
OH HONEY!! *squeezes*

Damnit, this is the wrong day to not have my cell phone with me. :(
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 3rd, 2006 02:34 pm (UTC)
I'd only cry in your ear anyway, as I'm sitting at my desk bawling. Trying to be productive and get something done, but it's not really happening.
Megsthemegs on January 3rd, 2006 02:43 pm (UTC)
That's okay. I can handle bawling.

I thought he was kind of dependant on her, though? Being sick and all.
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 3rd, 2006 02:58 pm (UTC)
He's sick, mentally, but in denial. He's never admitted it and refuses to get help. I think it's bipolar, but I'm not sure. At the very least he has severe chronic depression. He's dependant on her in the sense that she has supported the entire family for the last seven years financially (his business makes no money and is on the verge of bankruptcy), done all of the childcare, grocery shopping, household chores, ferrying kids to school, lessons, daycare, attending school functions, helping with his business when needed, etc. He's gonna be so lost without her and he doesn't even know it. She really will be better off without him and his constant emotional abuse, but god does it hurt.
Megsthemegs on January 3rd, 2006 03:02 pm (UTC)
Your poor sister. I'm sure she's given him so much over the years, and this feels like a slap in the face.

I worry for him as well, though. He probably doesn't realise how much he depends on her and that stability and routine.
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 3rd, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC)
She has. She's given him everything she had to give, and he had the nerve last night to tell her that she's not treated him right since their youngest child was born, six years ago. She called me in tears and asked if he was right, if maybe she was doing everything wrong and just couldn't see it. I had to talk her down to a point where she could see that he was completely wrong. Poor girl.

And yeah, I worry a lot about him, too. As much as I hate him for what he's done to Sandy, at the same time, I love him. He's been a brother to me for 19 years. I care about him and am scared to death about how he'll survive this. I'm very afraid that he may end up committing suicide. He already thinks very, very poorly of himself, and cutting himself off from the one person who actually supports him....
Megsthemegs on January 3rd, 2006 03:11 pm (UTC)
Do you think he's really going to leave her? They might both be really upset right now, but maybe they can work it out.
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 3rd, 2006 03:30 pm (UTC)
My sis is trying to set up counselling for them, but he insists that it won't help anything, so I doubt it will succeed. I don't know if he really will go or not, but I expect it's probably just a matter of time. If he doesn't go now, he'll go later. He's been hinting at this for a while, now, so it's not a complete shock, just very upsetting.
Megsthemegs on January 3rd, 2006 03:32 pm (UTC)
Right. Sorry.
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 3rd, 2006 02:35 pm (UTC)
*CLINGS*
Megsthemegs on January 3rd, 2006 02:41 pm (UTC)
*hides you under blankets*
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 3rd, 2006 02:59 pm (UTC)
*snuggles close and hopes the world goes away*
Megs: BL unfire snickerthemegs on January 3rd, 2006 03:02 pm (UTC)
*slides cookies and babies under blanket*
nosferatuvoice: Bono Larry Minenosferatuvoice on January 3rd, 2006 03:08 pm (UTC)
Heeeee. You always know how to make me smile. *huuuuuuuuuugs*
Megs: BL unfire snickerthemegs on January 3rd, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
*hugglefies*
(Deleted comment)
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 3rd, 2006 03:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, hon. I hate him and I love him at the same time. He's been an important part of our family for so long... sis is better without him, really, as he's become extremely emotionally abusive to her over the last few years. But it still is hard to accept that it's over. Your support is so appreciated. *clings*
(Deleted comment)
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 4th, 2006 01:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, sweetie.
i'm shifting into soup mode.: [bono/edge] snugoffside on January 3rd, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, honey I'm so so sorry to hear about this :( Sending massive hugs and love to you and your sis *squeezes tightly*

Hey my icon matches your layout, hee.
nosferatuvoice: hug/bono edgenosferatuvoice on January 4th, 2006 01:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you, hon. It's a difficult time, but the support of all my wonderful lj friends makes it easier. *snugs*
 Duracell Bunnyla_woman on January 3rd, 2006 05:55 pm (UTC)
Really sorry to hear that, NV. *hugs*
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 4th, 2006 01:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Ally. *clings*
subterranean homesick newsoccula on January 3rd, 2006 08:07 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 4th, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you, hon. *snuggles*
Dawn: shirleyladylardence on January 4th, 2006 01:06 pm (UTC)
*huuuuuuuuuuuugs*
nosferatuvoicenosferatuvoice on January 4th, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
*cliiiiiiiiings*